See Girl Read: I Want Your Thoughts!

Friends,

I want to introduce you to my newest project, See Girl Read. It's an idea that's been living in the back of my head for a while now, a site where young and older girls can connect through books. I can't count how many friends I've had that loved Anne of Green Gables, or how many I introduced to Betsy-Tacy. Now that I have younger girls in my life, I love to introduce them to my old favorites like Baby-Sitters Club and A Wrinkle in Time. See Girl Read is still in the making, and I would love to have your thoughts, opinions, and constructive feedback to make the site a success. Also, I would love to be able to post guest reviews where you reminisce on or recommend your favorite children's or young adult book.

Please leave a comment or drop me an email at seegirlread [at] gmail.com, with thoughts on the website and ideas for guest reviews.

Thank you!

This is Why I Hate People

Last night on my way home, some dude decided to not pay attention to the lane next to him, and merge in at his own leisure. Because I can't read minds, I kept going at my own pace, not knowing that instead of slowing down and waiting for me to pass him, said dude was going to speed up, forcing me to go into the other side of the road and speed up to go around him.

I'm admittedly not the best driver in the world. I wasn't going to sweat the dude being an idiot; maybe he was just having an off day. His bad driving is not why I hate people. No, I hate people because at the next stoplight, dude pulled up next to me, rolled down his window, and honked at me to roll mine down too. I mean, seriously? I had heard that people do that, but never experienced the phenomenon myself. I weighed my options. I could roll my window down and make a futile attempt to get my point across in the three seconds before the light turned green, or I could go ahead my make my right turn. I turned.

But even though the guy was a jerk, and I knew I didn't do anything wrong, I burst into tears and sobbed the rest of the way home. Something about the confrontation, the feeling of shame that someone was mad at me, really hit home. Today I'm feeling a little more angry than sad. But it didn't stop me from having anxiety the entire drive to work, feeling that another confrontation was right around the corner.

And that is why I hate people.

Those Dreaded Customer Service Calls

I would like to think that most people, like me, hate calling customer service. However, I have a friend who loves it. He looks forward to the thrill of arguing with the representative, the rush of victory when he gets his way. I, on the other hand, dread those calls like the plague. I put it off for days, then gather up my courage as I pick up the phone, and hope that the person on the other end doesn't make me cry.

To my extreme frustration, the new mattress I received a month ago has already developed a 1" indentation where I sleep. The mattress I spent months picking out. The mattress that, when delivered, brought a huge sigh of relief, as I thought the whole ordeal was over. After a while, I thought I could feel the mattress sagging, but wrote it off as my imagination. However, in the past couple of weeks the indentation got too deep to ignore. I am now waking up every morning with terrible back pain.

I finally sucked it up this morning and called Sears, prepared to argue my case to the death (or until they made me cry). And while I don't think customer service calls are ever pleasant (the long waits on hold, the transfers from person to person), it was not as bad as I expected. This could be in part due to the fact that I had spent the last few days psyching myself out by reading others' customer service horror stories online. In the end, they offered me a store exchange for a mattress of my choosing, which was more than I expected, but less than what I feel I deserve. Part of me feels like I should have argued longer and harder to make my point, but would it have been worth it? In the end, I'm accepting that I'm not an "arguer", and unless I want to become an arguer, I have to be willing to accept a little less. Really, it doesn't feel as pathetic as it sounds.

What are your experiences making customer service calls? Any tips?

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Filling Your Own Cup

Mes amies,

Lately I have been exploring the idea of filling my own cup, or in other words, doing things that increase my confidence and self-fulfillment. I think of it as filling out my self, my actual being and who I am as a person (whoever that is). If you've read The Mastery of Love, it's like filling up my magical kitchen.

When my cup is full, I feel worthy and I respect myself. I love myself. I don't need love from others, although it is always welcome. I have plenty of love to give to others as well. I'm so full of love and self-respect that I couldn't care less what the person down the street thinks of me, or that I haven't been invited out on Friday night, or (ahem) that a special someone didn't call when he said he would. Gone are the assuming and the obsessing. I am content in the love that is coming from within me.

I fill my cup by doing things that bring accomplishment, knowledge, happiness. I practice the violin, I browse bookstores, I exercise. I join groups, book clubs, meetups, and make new friends. I confront my fears and overcome them. I learn new skills. I improve old skills. I create art. I write. I do.

Theoretically speaking, that is. Because right now I don't do most of those things, and I am nowhere near a full cup. Right now my cup is very, very empty. Terribly empty. So empty that I know the road ahead is long, and daunting. But a wise friend told me that the only way to conquer fear is to walk right towards it, so that is what I am going to do. I'm already afraid of failing, but I have to give it a try. I don't want fear to hold me back from living a full life.

Is your cup full? How do you fill it?

Ugly Day

Why is it that

two ginormous pimples

that no amount of concealer can hide

make me want to hide

with a bag over my head?

And no matter how cute the outfit

or okay the hair,

I still feel like it's

Ugly Day.

Just

saying.

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The Rom-Com Conundrum

Or, why romantic comedies make me sigh. and cry. at the same time.

I will start by unabashedly admitting that I am a die-hard romantic, and a sucker for romantic movies. I was raised on sugar-sweet oldies but goodies with Doris Day and Jane Powell, and I thought that everyone broke into song and a tap dance routine to express their feelings. As I grew older, my tastes expanded into the PG-13 realm, but my craving for happy endings did not dwindle. No love story was too fluffy, too cheesy, too unrealistic. As I believe was the case for most girls my age, my junior high years were spent wearing out my VHS tapes of She's All That and Clueless, wanting to watch Cher and Josh's stairway kiss just one more time.

Now, more than a decade later, not much has changed. Last night, flipping through the rentals on my TV, I decided to watch When in Rome, a rom-com that I hadn't had the chance to see when it came out. And yes, it was absolutely terrible. Terribly cheesy. But it was exactly what I needed. Because no matter how formulaic the plot, or cheesy the lines, or unrealistic the ending (and beginning and middle), there's something about watching two people fall in love that never fails to tug at my heartstrings and make me sigh.

Their happiness feels contagious. At least for a time.

And here, my friends, enters the conundrum. Because as much as I love the fairy tale, the fairy tale is not real life. Not to say that relationships like that can't happen in real life, because I believe they can and do, but that sigh, that feeling of dancing on a cloud, doesn't happen to everyone, and it doesn't last forever. And to believe it does, and constantly search for it, can turn out to be a major disappointment. I do relate the feeling I get when I watch a movie like that to be a kind of high, because it's great while it lasts, but I eventually come back down, with reality staring me in the face. And that's a hard blow to take for a romantic like me. Am I being cynical?

How do you feel about the rom-com condundrum?

Friends,

This entire week, I've felt like I haven't been able to catch up on sleep. Eight hours a night isn't enough. When I get home from work, I have no energy to do anything other than lay in bed. The gym is a thing of the past. Even today, I'm hoping I have enough time to hit the grocery store after work before I'm completely worn out. I glance at the dishes in the sink every day, but don't even have the energy to care.

Maybe I'm not getting enough Vitamin D? The sun is beaming down outside, but I've been holed up in my covers most of the time that I'm home. Perhaps I should force myself to sit outside and read a book (provided I'm able to keep my eyes open).

How do you deal with that no-energy feeling?

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